Thursday, August 16, 2012
Letter To My Daughter
One of my biggest fears is turning out to be a bad mother. I worry if I wont be the mother who smothers her children or the mother who's obsessed with raising good kids that she does not let them make mistakes and learn from them. Though I have these uncertainties, I know with every fibre of my being I will love you. Looking at my mother and I's relationship I know,you will not always like me and I wont always make sense to you so Im going to share some of the lessons I have learned in this letter. Hopefully in the madness,you will be able to grasp these with very little heart break.
Nothing is as important as self-love. Its the Alpha and the Omega of life. In a world full of people on different journeys who are trying to figure life out, you're going to experience pain. People are going to hurt, friends will fail you and maybe even I will but if you learn self-acceptance early, a great deal of that will not break you. This means realising that you are enough.With all your shortcomings and imperfections, you need to realize that you are a beautiful mess that does not shock its Creator. The world is a beautiful but cruel place. It has no time for people who need approval. If you think you're not good for shit, they'll help confirm this. Zithande.
I hope you'll inherit my sense of humour and my love for books but more importantly I hope you are fearless and more adventurous than I am.Child, I skated for the first time when I was 20 years old because I have a fear of falling (in love and on the ground and skinning my knees) and even though I have known that I have a good singing voice,I performed my original work only two years ago. I pray you realise that every dream God put in your heart was placed there because he knows you can accomplish it. Don't let anything stop you from trying things out.
No matter how beat up your heart feels, it is one of the strongest organs of your body. When its broken, it will feel like it won't ever be whole again but I can assure you that it generates tougher skin everytime it survives a trampling. I have felt heartbreak and stubborn painful lumps on throat moments,those low moments when only death looks attractive and I have survived. You will too.
When a friend hurts you, when your dreams don't come true or when a boy you love takes that love and throws it back on your face, know that those things are there to strengthen you. Sometimes its not about you but at times it'll be because God is working on you. Cry it out but make sure you get the lesson in there. I hope I'll be there to sort out all the boys you meet who will break your heart but I know it would embarass you If I choke slammed every boy who didnt love you back..so maybe not.
I hope you meet a sweet boy who'll treat you like you deserve to be and live happily ever after but If it happens that you don't, its perfectly ok. Remember you are enough. You, like me, will probably cry over assholes and ignore the good guys because they lack edge or wear the wrong shoes! I hope you don't. I hope you choose a guy who'll still have substance when his swagger has run out and a guy who you can pray with. Love is a beautiful thing when it is not rushed.
Get yourself good friends and be a good friend too. Find a group of people who will support you, laugh with you and tell you when your skirt is too short. Travel together! Pray for each other and be there. Should you get these people, cherish them. Do not ever beg someone to love you or to be your friend. Keep people who WANT to be in your life because carrying dead wood will only remove your eyes from the people you need to focus on. Find friends you can fight with but know that they'll still be your friend after. Friends who you think of and start laughing.
I hope by the time you get here I will have mastered the art of walking past a clothing store with a "SALE" sign on the window and will be a more disciplined saver. Your dad will probably be a Maxwell look-alike or writer Siphiwe Mpye (as I have not lost hope that he'll see the light and stop fighting the feelings he has for me :p)
These are some of the things I hope you learn. They are just some of the things I've learned.
I look forward to meeting you and to you joining me on my journey
You are enchanting.