Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Almosts




This week I realized that the man of my dreams doesn't exist in reality. He is merely a result of all the Sweet Valley High novels I read in high school, the romance trash I watch (and should really boycott) and the absurd hope that sees good in everyone. After my recent Almost (you know, almost a good man) I have really lost all faith in a monogamous relationship in my lifetime. With all the men I thought were different proving me wrong and just the way love has been stripped of her dignity, I am left with two options.

1. Start breeding cats and knitting mittens for the community infants :""""(

2. Join this "Ef Love" pro-carnal gratification movement that,as a friend puts it, "Leaves the heart at home"

As light as Im trying to make this, its really tragic for someone like me who's biggest dream is to be a wife and a mother. More than I want to be a famous fashion writer and business woman, I want to have little hims tug at my dress and him partnering with me to build a family. Now when life shows me these kinds of flames, Im supposed to have my dream njani mhlambi??!
I need to see relatioships that work again! Direct me please! Lead me to the man who not only is swagless but respectful and faithful. Where do I find a guy who's not just interested in my body but actually wants to know me and what Im about?
Like, Jesus and his Dad need to hook me up with answers!

I know some of us women lost the plot somehow when we wanted to exercise our sexual liberation and partly believe that men don't see us as worth sweating for because we are that available for exploitation. Believe me, this isn't me excusing cheating men and them treating us like trash but we do need to look at how with times, the value of authentic partnership has been swapped for 5second hook ups. I've had to review my standards in order to assess if they are not ridiculously high but like, Im not looking for a god here or a fairytale for that matter but kurough ngoku! Im reminded of something my pastor once said in a sermon about love.

" When you're 16 you want thim to speak french, be tall, be a surfer AND a firefighter,funny, honeybrown eyes, dimples, big hands... But by the time you're 30 and the man on your long list is nowhere to be found, you're OK with just having one item 1. Must be male!!" :'D

Im sick of hearing women say, "I know he cheats, treats me badly but ndizobasathini" or women fighting over a man who cheats on both of them!! *screams!!* I've had enough of guys who act like im demon possessed when I demand commitment or nothing at all or women who tell me I gave up too easily on a relationship that was going nowhere!
Can I hear stories where the original idea of love wins? Please shine light on men who aren't trying to offer their D for your dignity!!
I actually plan on following this blog up with interviews with men from different backgrounds,age groups..etc just to find out ukuba ithini into.

I can't die knitting mittens, people. That can't be my exit out of this life

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